I Saw You

I’m not quite sure why, but Washington, D.C. is apparently the loneliest (or maybe most desperate, though that’s hard to believe) city in the United States. Maybe part of the reason for this is that it’s a pretty transient place. When I first moved here, multiple people asked me if I planned to do a two year stint in D.C. and then bail (which, increasingly, is looking like it’s going to be the case). And most of the young people that move to D.C. (or at least the ones I know) work pretty stressful jobs that demand a lot of hours and even more energy. Whatever it is, there are just a lot of people in D.C. who are looking to find a special someone.
Now, I’ve lived in a couple of cities in my 2+ decades of living and every once in a while in Chicago or NYC I would glance through the matches section of the Reader or the Village Voice. But, both were pretty skimpy. In D.C., however, the Matches section of the City Paper is a freakin’ phenomena.

Everyone reads it. Now, I even look forward to the City Paper coming out so I can check out the listings. Sometimes I read ads and I think, “this person sounds kinda cool, I should drop them a line.” But, I always wuss out. And while the women seeking men and women seeking women and the “none of the above” sections can prove captivating, the true highlight of the Washington City Paper matches is the “I Saw You” section.

The concept of “I Saw You” is just want it sounds like. You see some attractive girl or guy walking down the street or at the bar or the rock show or the library or on the train or wherever and, apparently, you can’t shake the image of said individual. So, what do you do? You place an ad like this one:

“Thursday the 20th. We danced at Heaven and I was in heaven. Brazil over England. And your name was Carrie?”

Now, I’m not even sure that if I was Carrie I would know who the hell this person was, but I guess that anything is possible. My friend Chad and I have discussed the phenomena of the City Paper matches and we once concluded that it would be far better to craft fictional “I Saw You” ads, as opposed to standard women seeking men ads (or vice versa) if we really wanted to meet people who fulfilled our long held ideals. So, here are some of the “I Saw You” ads that I have crafted based on some individuals I have seen in D.C. or solely from my imagination:

Sparky’s Espresso Café You-lanky, black t-shirt, blue jeans and chucks, brown shaggy hair reading Nietzsche (in the original German?) with dictionary. Me-brown eyed girl with brown ponytail, glasses reading Bataille. Want to discuss the Apollinian/Dyonisian polarity over coffee?
Cute redhead with the red New Balance sneakers who works out at the JCC on Wednesdays and Sundays. Is that Asian girl your girlfriend? I hope not, would dig getting to know you better.

6/30 Black Cat Mainstage. Opening band drummer with the mad chops and the bad posture. I was in the crowd and too wowed by you to approach. Hope to make up for it by meeting you for a drink. Let’s see if we can find a rhythm.

Todd at PFAW. You seem totally awesome…want to make out?